Sunday, June 16, 2013

My Thoughts on Father's Day and Fatherhood

I have two sons.....ages 21 and 7.  They have different fathers.

I had my first son about 15 months after my mother died.  There is a definite correlation.

His father and I had very little to nothing in common.  I rebounded from my mother's death into the wrong relationship and I have a child.

I WOULD NOT CHANGE ONE THING about the whole situation.  But 21 years later, I'm able to see where I went and why.

My son was lucky and his father met his current wife when my son was 5.  They are still together and have been a positive situation for him for most of his life.

When my son was 8, I met the love of my life.

I never really let my son spend time with people I dated.  I didn't want him to have a string of men running through his life.

When I met "the one," I knew the difference right away.  Three months after we met, my now-husband met my son.  This morning we were smiling in remembrance of how the 8-year-old boy met the man that became his step father.  He first introduced himself....then his favorite character necklace he was wearing.  I still have the necklace and we all still have the memory.

That night....after the introduction, we ate pizza.....watched an episode of Double Dare that my husband was in when he was a teen...and went to see Christmas lights at a local arboretum.

From there on out, the rest is our family's history. My husband is a wise man and he allowed the relationship with my son to develop on its own.

We got engaged a year and 3 months later.....married a year after that.

A year and six months after we were married, we had another child....together.

Both my boys love each other.  Both of them love my husband endlessly.

Today, our grown boy called his step dad to wish him happy father's day.  I did not nudge.  I did not text.  I did not nag.  He did it on his own....because of the relationship they made together.

So, on Father's Day....maybe it's not all about biology.  Sometimes it's about chemistry and good old fashioned engineering and hard work.

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